Hate sex.

(May or may not include sexual content. Okay, it doesn't. I used the phrase once. But I got your attention, didn't I?)

Imagine, if you will, that I am an exclusive club. The guest list is short, and there are only a few ways in. Let's explore.

- The Password. It's not easily guessed, and never freely given out. It takes a gifted observer with enviable ninja skills to determine what it is I'd like to hear - what will earn them admission. And what does that mean? There are certain things people can say that will instantly make me believe that they "get it." Maybe there's some common ground. Maybe they see things a little differently than most of the world, or can at least respect my slightly skewed viewpoint. There are a variety of topics that can potentially set off this chain reaction. But any statement that causes me to raise an eyebrow or let out a truly contemplative "hmm"? You're in. Please tip your bartender.

- The Open Window. Whoops, I left the skylight unlatched, and they snuck right in! This happens when I've all but written someone off, then they say or do something so incredibly awesome that I have no choice but to give them another chance. Alternately: When someone is everything I usually dislike/am ambivalent about, but somehow manages to also be amazing. Rarely: Passionate hatred that becomes passionate lust (intellectual for me, but can be likened to "hate sex" for the normies out there). From experience, this stealthy, almost imperceptibly easy entrance leads to an epic struggle at the door on the way out.

- The Key. Metaphorically speaking, this would be the easiest way in. In reality...quite difficult. And probably a little boring. Basically, do everything right. Be a combination of every trait I like in a human being. Have me from hello, Jerry Maguire. This...does not happen. Okay, maybe it's happened to me once or twice. But the novelty wears off, and I soon learn they're not the person they presented themselves to be initially. The lock is the same, but the key gets bent.

What's the point of all this? There is none. You guys should know that by now. Okay, no, really...

In general, once someone has found their way into the club, it's very unlikely they'll be asked to leave. Sure, maybe they won't stay as long or show up as often. But they're still a member. Even if they spill a few drinks or start a few fights, it's all good. I'm a tolerant owner. We'll talk it out. They'll apologize, pay for dry cleaning, and we'll be square. If they try to set the place on fire, then yeah, that's a lifetime ban. But there's really nothing to be gained by forcible removal otherwise.

In English: When I find people I like, I keep them around. Time and circumstance will inevitably make that more difficult, but "letting go" is not something I do without a fight. Because connecting is not easy for me. When something's so elusive, the dumbest thing one can do is just let it disappear.

Most people don't feel like that. They're content to stand next to their own personal revolving door and let people pass in and out. Regardless of who they are to one another. It's all fleeting and inconsequential, and...yeah, we need to realize some of that will happen. We can't latch on to everyone we meet. But to go through life allowing the really intense connections to just fade away instead of exploring them... I don't get that.

Yes, this is coming from a self-professed misanthrope. But I maintain that I'm only a misanthrope because of all this stuff.

Oh well.