Dynamics.

After making a sincere vow to write more often, I must admit I've let myself down a little. But I've had a lot going on. I'm into my second week at the new job and getting used to this whole working full-time thing. After spending a couple years working rather sporadically and having a lot of "me time," this is just...different. Well, it's different for a lot of reasons. But it's going to take me a bit to adjust. Until then, you'll get me sparingly. Which is probably the least annoying way to get me, if I may be honest.

Things are going pretty well with work. I think I'm doing a fairly good job so far, and I like it. I don't enjoy the fact that I have to spend four weeks traveling every day for training that will likely be a waste, but... Well, have to do what I have to do, I guess, and hope I get something out of it. Life goes on.

It's a little hard being "the new person." I was at my last job for ten years. I knew what I was doing and I knew the people I worked with. Sure, not everyone stuck around that long. But there was always a group of people I'd been with for a couple years, and I generally knew what to expect when I walked in every day. The uncertainty in being somewhere new is both good and bad, I'm finding.

What I'm struggling most with is the relationships. Don't get me wrong - everyone's been welcoming and helpful I wouldn't classify any of them as bad people. This not a negative commentary by any means. They're amusing and I like them. But if we didn't work together and we'd just met randomly somewhere, I don't know that we'd be "friends." That's how most workplaces are, though, right? As long as you can work together and be productive and not totally dislike one another, that's considered a functional professional relationship. I mean... In most companies, being "friends" with your coworkers is actually discouraged.

I'm just not used to that. At my last job, I genuinely did feel like my coworkers were my friends. Well...most of them. It was more than a professional relationship. We all knew quite a bit about one another's lives. We shared a lot. And had I met them outside of work, yes, I probably would have hung out with them. Which we did do on occasion. I just felt closer to them for some reason.

So I don't know if I'm just having to adjust to not having that level of comfort, which may come in time...or if it's genuinely that they're two very different groups of people, and I'd naturally feel more kinship with one than the other. Either way, given all the other changes that have gone on in the past few months and how lonely I feel regularly, it's almost that I've gotten even more isolated. Less stressed, but more alone.

I'd like for that to change. But we'll see how things work themselves out. It's all an experience. It's all for the better. In the meantime, I'll just go to work, do my job, and continue trying to meet people on the internet.