And for my next trick...

Welcome to my annual Scrooging. Please, have a seat.

I'll make this a little more topical than my usual complaining about the "holiday season." After so many years working in retail, I'm fairly certain everyone's heard the standard gripes and there's nothing I could say on that subject which would be at all interesting or groundbreaking. Blah blah obligation, blah blah commercialism, blah blah cranky people yelling at me... Same shit, different year.

But 'tis the season for holiday TV. It really seems to me like they should wait until, y'know, Christmas to show Christmas-themed programming instead of starting the day after Thanksgiving. But I'm no TV executive, so don't listen to me. Not that anyone planned on doing so anyway. Point is...the leftover turkey isn't even gone before we begin to be bombarded by "the season." I can't even watch my favorite sitcoms without the "very special Christmas episode." Does any show not do one of those? Honestly. I want to know.

And what's the central theme within all those "special episodes"? The magic of the holidays, of course! The holidays bring us together and remind us how lucky we are. They're just so goshdarn beautiful and inspirational that we should want to be better people and forgive the people who've done us wrong and invite them back into our hearts and homes. Because the holidays are all about togetherness and thankfulness and piney smells and cookies and presents, oh my! It's the one time of year we're all supposed to slow down, take inventory, and enjoy our good fortune. (Which is downright humorous, considering how stressed out and generally downtrodden most people are for the entire month of December.)

Well...do you believe in magic? Because I don't.

If all of that resonates with someone, that's fine. But I'm not sentimental. And I don't believe for a second that people truly put everything aside as soon as the snow starts to fall. We have the same problems, hold the same grudges, feel the same pain. But we force ourselves to suppress it, because this is supposed to be a "moment." We're supposed to be happy, surrounded by loved ones, admiring the tree, sitting by a roaring fire, and singing cheery carols. For some people, that doesn't make it all better. For some people, that's not magic - it's just fake.

Reality doesn't cease to exist one day a year. If we can just acknowledge that we bring all our frustrations in our pockets when we're doing our holiday shopping at the mall, and all our baggage in the trunks of our cars to every family gathering... I realize some people need escapism. But there's now this unrealistic ideal of Hallmark holiday magic in so many peoples' minds - what it's supposed to look like, how we're supposed to feel. And the more we try to achieve that, the less authentic it is.

Am I cynical? You bet I am. Bitter, jaded, just a generally miserable person... Call it whatever you want. You wouldn't be hurting my feelings. All I know is that I've never felt whatever it is we're supposed to feel this time of year. Snow is a pain in the ass to drive in, Christmas trees stink, carols are hokey and ridiculous, and if I don't like you, there isn't a gift in the world you could buy me that would be better than you simply not being in my presence. And I'd tell you that, just for the record. I find nothing appealing about the whole mess. It's just not me.

Or maybe the real truth is that I'm desperate to find my own magic. Y'know, just so I can see what it feels like.