Singles Awareness Day.

Did you see this coming? You should have.

I've made the same points over and over again with regard to this asinine "holiday." So I'll spare you all that. Even those of you who haven't heard it before. Consider it my gift to the world.

My opinion is still the same: Valentine's Day is stupid. But I'm in a different place this year, and I can more clearly articulate what it is that bothers me.

I've engaged in conversation with a few different people over the past couple weeks that have made me think about what it is I want in a relationship. And I can sum it up pretty succinctly now: Non-traditional.

I don't do romance. I don't want gifts or poems or candle-lit dinners. Being called "honey" or "sweetie" or even "dear" makes me nauseous. And I swear, if he ever so much as utters the words "our song"... All of that stuff is so trite. And in the long run, really kind of meaningless. Don't buy me a gift because you think I'd like it. Know what I like more than a teddy bear wearing a t-shirt with a corny saying on it (outside of a teddy bear without a t-shirt, because bears don't wear clothes)? Being with you. And I don't want a song to remind you of me. I'd be infinitely more thrilled if we had a conversation about, say, stepping in gum, and you stepped in gum one day six months later and then sent me a text that said, "Hey, I stepped in gum today and thought of you." That would actually mean a lot to me.

I don't want to be "united" in the normal sense. I don't want to get married. I don't even want a joint bank account. We can still be "we" without that stuff. I have mine, you have yours, and we share because we love each other and we want to. I pay for dinner on Friday, and you pay on Saturday. This month, I pay the electric bill, and you pay the water bill. And it would all equal out. Because we want it to. And we'll have our own space to be ourselves. Because we want to.

And the idea of being someone's "everything" and having someone's whole identity wrapped up in our relationship - having someone define themselves through that, and not feel "whole" if they don't have it? That's just too much pressure. That's not healthy. And it's not fair. But that's the kind of pressure that's put on people because of all this. If you're not in a relationship, that's what you're supposed to want. And if you are, and yours isn't like that, you're made to feel like what you have is inadequate.

The underlying concept here is obligation. There shouldn't be certain things that are considered the standard to show how much you care, or how committed you are. Not everyone wants that stuff, and that doesn't make their version any less meaningful. And you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything except love and appreciate the person you're with.

Valentine's Day supports this bullshit. Sappy cards, emphasis on gifts and romantic dates, and using the most cliche terms possible to describe how much you love your partner... Even the basic idea that it needs to be done at all. Relationships are there to enrich our lives. Are they easy? Certainly not. But we shouldn't stress out over doing the "right" thing. What's "right" is what's right for you. It's all subjective. And the idea that we should all like or thrive upon the same sentiments or the same shows of affection... That's what makes me angry.

So if this is what it's all about? I'll stay single. In protest. I'm really good at not doing things on principle alone. I'll just add this to the list.