"And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most..."
(Preach it, Kanye.)
That's usually how I am. But I'm slowly realizing I don't need to be that way. I can enjoy myself. Something can be good without a "but" or a "what if" or an "I wish." And it's okay not to know why it's good; just that it is.
I worry that my intermittent hopelessness will become a chronic condition, joining forces with the various others that inhabit my person. I worry that I'm so comfortable with being uncomfortable, too adept at finding the angst in everything, that I'll never be able to capture more than a single moment of non-analyzed, completely pleasure-centered anything.
Me: "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm a bit of a miserable person."
My boss: "Don't be like that."
Me: "I can't help it. That's just how I'm wired."
My boss: "Well... Re-wire yourself."
Some of the most profound statements come from the least likely sources, when you least expect them. But somehow at precisely the right time.
Fuck the midlife crisis. I'm determined to make this the beginning of something.
No comments:
Post a Comment